OFFENSIVE TO SOME...FUNNY TO OTHERS
16 different ways to urofy a dupatta
By: Raza Abbas Gheewala
Inspired by Sam ‘Hiding her Shame’ Since 1982
Since the inception of Pakistan and the Pakistan Television Network the ‘dupatta’ has been prime focus of all maulana’s. There are plenty of ways to urofy the dupatta and women have always found new ways of showing more while hiding less. The dupatta has been insignificant, flowy and sometimes transparent to the audiences as well as the people who have adorned it. It’s been wrapped around like a scarf, thrown over the head like a sack of potatoes and laid over shoulders like legs. No matter how you choose to wear it, you can’t deny the fact that the dupatta makes a woman look more appealing by hiding what comes naturally into the mind of every normal guy. A poet once said,
Teer sey kiya darati ho
Dhaar tu talwar mein hai
Dupattay sey kiya chupati ho
Maal tu shalwar mein hai
Obviously, Maulana’s are not very good poets and a poet wouldn’t make a very good maulana, however it has been said by the latter that a dupatta is a must for all women appearing on National Television. Not too many people know what the actual purpose of the dupatta is and what it is used to hide. Let’s look at the different ways a dupatta can be worn:
The Half Head: No it has nothing to do with second thoughts during oral sex but everything to do with the dupatta resting right in the middle of the head exposing the bright and greasy but neatly combed back hair in the front.
The Full Head: Once again it has nothing to do with deep throating but everything to do with the dupatta resting fully on the head while displaying only a slight tease of hair above the forehead.
The Hover Cover: The dupatta is thrown around the upper area of the body in such a way that it covers the important parts if you look at it straight on while only appearing to hover over the goodies in profile.
The Complete Cover: The dupatta is unrolled and used as a sheet that goes around the front and rests on either shoulder. This way your only hope in hell is a strong breeze.
The Twin Cover: The dupatta is thrown around the neck and let hanging down in order to almost hover cover the twins.
The Gash Sash: The dupatta is thrown over one shoulder and left hanging straight down. Remember to balance your dupatta well as you don’t want to have it too long in the front or the back.
The Seatbelt: The dupatta is worn almost like the Gash Sash but is taken down the center through the cleavage and tied with the other end from behind and left hanging at the hips. Just be careful to accentuate the good one.
The Punjabi: The dupatta is worn around the waist tightly making the waist smaller while accentuating the ass. Be careful while trying to make your way through a crowd sideways.
The Bandit Queen: The dupatta is wrapped around the head and sleeves rolled up to the elbows as an added accessory. Usually seen on hard working housewives and women who are trying to cope with the migraine. If your wife happens to have one on her head, tell her sex cures all aches as the body releases the happy hormone which also happens to cure depression.
The Invisible Cloak: The dupatta is not worn at all but is kept neatly folded at home in a fireproof box where no one can see it. The goodies are all exposed and it is an effective way to use a dupatta. The more conservative people will imagine what a dupatta would look like on that person and thus giving it the name, The Invisible Cloak.
The Fence: The dupatta is worn tightly around the head but exposes half a head of hair while being accompanied by a sleeveless shirt and jeans.
The Ninja: Usually made of thicker material the dupatta is longer than the cloth of the top and bottom articles of clothing put together and the entire body arms and face are wrapped up tighter than hot steaming chicken chunks in a warm oven warmed Lebanese Pita bun.
The Choker: Dupatta worn like a neck scarf and no these women don’t like it rough in bed. Sometimes it’s just fashion. Wrapping your hands around the neck of someone like that would result in a constant throbbing pain in your groin area.
The Over the Shoulder Boulder Holder: The dupatta starts off from the back and brought forward and thrown over the shoulders again. Excellent technique for accentuating the profile view while enhancing your cleavage is as simple as tugging at the loose ends.
The Bua: The dupatta is worn only on the head like a bandana. Very useful for covering up hair issues, pointy or elephant ear issues but no so much large chest issues. Not that the latter has ever been an issue.
The Ghora: The dupatta is worn around the neck and the loose ends thrown over the back. The curve of the dupatta rests firmly against the neck almost ‘rein’ style.
There are plenty of ways that you can adorn this fine piece of clothing, however it is almost impossible to deny the fact that the dupatta has a very special place in our culture, history and hearts.
By: Raza Abbas Gheewala
Inspired by Sam ‘Hiding her Shame’ Since 1982
Since the inception of Pakistan and the Pakistan Television Network the ‘dupatta’ has been prime focus of all maulana’s. There are plenty of ways to urofy the dupatta and women have always found new ways of showing more while hiding less. The dupatta has been insignificant, flowy and sometimes transparent to the audiences as well as the people who have adorned it. It’s been wrapped around like a scarf, thrown over the head like a sack of potatoes and laid over shoulders like legs. No matter how you choose to wear it, you can’t deny the fact that the dupatta makes a woman look more appealing by hiding what comes naturally into the mind of every normal guy. A poet once said,
Teer sey kiya darati ho
Dhaar tu talwar mein hai
Dupattay sey kiya chupati ho
Maal tu shalwar mein hai
Obviously, Maulana’s are not very good poets and a poet wouldn’t make a very good maulana, however it has been said by the latter that a dupatta is a must for all women appearing on National Television. Not too many people know what the actual purpose of the dupatta is and what it is used to hide. Let’s look at the different ways a dupatta can be worn:
The Half Head: No it has nothing to do with second thoughts during oral sex but everything to do with the dupatta resting right in the middle of the head exposing the bright and greasy but neatly combed back hair in the front.
The Full Head: Once again it has nothing to do with deep throating but everything to do with the dupatta resting fully on the head while displaying only a slight tease of hair above the forehead.
The Hover Cover: The dupatta is thrown around the upper area of the body in such a way that it covers the important parts if you look at it straight on while only appearing to hover over the goodies in profile.
The Complete Cover: The dupatta is unrolled and used as a sheet that goes around the front and rests on either shoulder. This way your only hope in hell is a strong breeze.
The Twin Cover: The dupatta is thrown around the neck and let hanging down in order to almost hover cover the twins.
The Gash Sash: The dupatta is thrown over one shoulder and left hanging straight down. Remember to balance your dupatta well as you don’t want to have it too long in the front or the back.
The Seatbelt: The dupatta is worn almost like the Gash Sash but is taken down the center through the cleavage and tied with the other end from behind and left hanging at the hips. Just be careful to accentuate the good one.
The Punjabi: The dupatta is worn around the waist tightly making the waist smaller while accentuating the ass. Be careful while trying to make your way through a crowd sideways.
The Bandit Queen: The dupatta is wrapped around the head and sleeves rolled up to the elbows as an added accessory. Usually seen on hard working housewives and women who are trying to cope with the migraine. If your wife happens to have one on her head, tell her sex cures all aches as the body releases the happy hormone which also happens to cure depression.
The Invisible Cloak: The dupatta is not worn at all but is kept neatly folded at home in a fireproof box where no one can see it. The goodies are all exposed and it is an effective way to use a dupatta. The more conservative people will imagine what a dupatta would look like on that person and thus giving it the name, The Invisible Cloak.
The Fence: The dupatta is worn tightly around the head but exposes half a head of hair while being accompanied by a sleeveless shirt and jeans.
The Ninja: Usually made of thicker material the dupatta is longer than the cloth of the top and bottom articles of clothing put together and the entire body arms and face are wrapped up tighter than hot steaming chicken chunks in a warm oven warmed Lebanese Pita bun.
The Choker: Dupatta worn like a neck scarf and no these women don’t like it rough in bed. Sometimes it’s just fashion. Wrapping your hands around the neck of someone like that would result in a constant throbbing pain in your groin area.
The Over the Shoulder Boulder Holder: The dupatta starts off from the back and brought forward and thrown over the shoulders again. Excellent technique for accentuating the profile view while enhancing your cleavage is as simple as tugging at the loose ends.
The Bua: The dupatta is worn only on the head like a bandana. Very useful for covering up hair issues, pointy or elephant ear issues but no so much large chest issues. Not that the latter has ever been an issue.
The Ghora: The dupatta is worn around the neck and the loose ends thrown over the back. The curve of the dupatta rests firmly against the neck almost ‘rein’ style.
There are plenty of ways that you can adorn this fine piece of clothing, however it is almost impossible to deny the fact that the dupatta has a very special place in our culture, history and hearts.
posted by Raza Gheewala at 3:30 am
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