I was walked out through a large glass door, it was cold outside. The mid-January winds added to the misery of my last moments. From a bunch of 17 why was I picked? Was it a cruel pre-planned act to extinguish my short life or was it another random act of fate? I had seen those who went before me, and never did I think that someday it would be my turn. I could have been the next one or the last one to go, but I knew for a fact that once you were pulled out of that close knit group you never came back.
I lit up. My head felt hot, parts of me were dragged into places that I had never seen before. The darkness surrounded me and I could see nothing but the blackness that hugged me, embraced me, invited me and made me feel wanted. This welcoming feeling was what I had been searching for, and even though, being so close to the others, never gave me this strange emotion.
To my surprise I was released into the night air only to become a small part of it. While I was trying to familiarise myself with this strange new environment, I felt another part of me being dragged into that same unfamiliar place, the same string of emotions engulfed me and released me into the night air where I took my place as nothing, nothing once again. Who was this heartless person who was taking me apart; piece by piece he tore me from my soul and released me into the cold night air. What sort of sick game was this?
Amid the strange string of emotions I was feeling of love and hate, I found myself falling. Spinning and falling towards the ground. A white sheet of snow was my final resting place. I smelt foul and disgusting. Voices of those who had left long ago, to venture into the mouth of death, rung in my ears as I burnt to my end; “We are made to serve and by death we serve”.
I saw my master walk back into the house oblivious of the fact of what I had just gone through. Calm descended over me as I caught a last glimpse of her walking up the stairs to her bedroom. The thought of her going to bed satisfied with her last cigarette of the night made me feel like I had performed my duty to the fullest. I waited for the cold night air to extinguish me and prayed that if it wouldn’t come to take me that I would burn out quickly. For the thought of staying away from the warmth of her lips, I could not bear any longer.
